July 21, 2021
In this post I want to look at internalized ableism and how it relates to healing. In short ableism is discrimination or prejudice against people with disabilities. Anyone who has dealt with a chronic infection, injury or condition will have confronted internalized ableism.
Internalized ableism may start with nasty self talk. Or it may be more unconscious where you feel angry with yourself for being unable to what you used to do. How do you be with anger, frustration, and grief . . .? You've done everything the doctor says yet you still feel unwell.
You may begin to think you are crazy, you should get on with it etc . . . Because being unable when you were able is not ok. Brain fog, word drop, fatigue after rest, etc . . . these things are "not ok". When I say they are not "ok" I am pointing to the feeling of internal pain brought about by old expectations and standards.
In a society that values productivity what does it say about those who are unproductive?
This question of value and productivity is deep. Sometimes it is taught overtly and in general it is implied by the ethos of market place mentality. And, all of this is unhelpful to the healing process.
1.) it places more stress on an already difficult situation
2.) it upholds a standard that is out there
3.) it ties your worth to an abstract standard
I want to share 2 flower essences that have helped me find greater softness whilst navigating heavier times. These essences help with softening, grounding and reassessing our approach to life.
Desert 4 Oclock: For helping to heal damage done to the soft, delicate aspect of the personality, to restore a connection to lightness. Softens resistance which blocks the flow of healing energy. Enhances inner ease and softness; for stubborn, strong willed, inflexible types; helps people feel safe in order to let go; Type A, first born, over achiever can benefit from this essence.
Shooting Star For getting in touch with deeper feelings, for feeling a sense of wholeness. For coming home, self acceptance, and being at home in the body. Good for ambivalence about being present in the body. This is an all around useful grounding essence for those who feel unsafe and to address birth trauma.
Both of these flower essences are part of the Trauma Kit, Essence Alchemy's cornerstone collection.
Being unwell is never fun, I know I've been there. And I know it can be hard to find a place acceptance. Barring any outward impediment your disease may be a "hidden illness". Meaning you feel unwell yet to others you appear "fine". This can add to the layers pain you already experience because by appearances you are do not seem sick.
Sometimes compassion has a big learning curve. And, it is this way of being with yourself that can aid the healing process. So as you navigate your journey consider the importance of softening and grounding. This can support a peaceful nervous system which alone can bring us much comfort.
Stay tuned for Part 2. Hope and Strength
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